The Great Expedition of 2011 (Part 2)

   As you may (or more likely, may not) recall, last week’s posting began the account of our travels with the legendary (and probably anachronistic) explorer Vasco da Gama, as we attempted to make it around the one of Great Lakes with him. We pick up the story from Vasco’s journals, as we make camp in the Michigan marshes…

The Day after the Last One, in the Year of Our Lord This One,

   We are soon to have being arrivèd of it in the city of which El Sparky, he is saying it is for to be the calling of it the name of Detroit Rock City.

 (This is the thanks I get for getting you that box set of Kiss albums for your birthday.—Uncle Fun)

(Don’ menshun it. –Sparky)

It is much of the carefulness we are being of the having of it, because El Sparky he is telling-it to me of the extremelemently dangerous Chuds, which is for the name of it to being of the Cannibalistic Humanoids Under Detroit.

   (The actual name of the creatures in the movie “C.H.U.D.” was “Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers”, and they lived in New York City, not Detroit.—Uncle Fun)

(Whut he don’t know won’t hurt us. Otherwise he wuz fixin' on bunkin’ us up in th’ sewers. –Sparky)

The Uncle Fun, he is for to the telling it of him to me about the fabulous Renaissance Center, which of it is in the Detroit Rock City of the waterfront on it. This will I at the first thing of the dawning of the morning for to be the claiming of it in the name of me myself, The Great Vasco da Gama, and the making of it into the base for of the operations and the conquistadoring of the entire Detroit Rock City. Once I have it for to conquerèd the Renaissance Center, then shall I be for to commanding-it to him the Leonardo da Vinci for to the making of it the machine of the flying so that I myself, The Great Vasco da Gama, he is to be the making of it the attacking of the hairy owl on the Detroit Rock City, and for to forcing of it the surrendering of it to me myself, The Great Vasco da Gama.

Fortunately, this did not come to pass. What you’ll hear by clicking this blue link probably also didn’t happen, but it involves our man Vasco, so you never know. The idea of Vasco teaming up with Leonardo da Vinci is unsettling, but at least it makes more sense than him meeting El Greco. By the way, I think “attacking of the hairy owl” is Vasco’s way of saying “aerial attack” …at least, I hope so.

Uncle Fun