Yesterday was too busy a day
for us to keep to our appointed schedule of postings on this log of
web-logginess. It is the custom for life to stop in Funsville on July 20th of every
year, for a celebration that’s been taking place around these parts since the late
1960s.
No—it has nothing to do with
the moon landing. The 20th of July, for those of you who don’t already know, just
happens to be…
…wait for it…
…(is the suspense killing you
yet?)
…Diana Rigg’s birthday. The
eagle may have landed, but the arrival of Mrs. Emma Peel on the cultural
horizon stirred Funsvillians into a frenzy that hadn’t been seen since the
halcyon days of Franchot Tone.
Diana Rigg is such a big deal
here that Funsville never witnessed the live broadcast of the Apollo 11 landing.
The Funsville Institute of Broadcasting would’ve risked starting a riot if they’d
pre-empted the scheduled Avengers marathon.
Talk about your positive role
models for women and girls alike. Diana Rigg’s birthday is the one time when
Our Miss Moose really gets carried away:
Usually a few other people get
carried away as well, to the emergency room of Funsville General. Fortunately, a local by-law waives prosecution
for common assault committed on July 20th by ladies clad in lycra, spandex, vinyl
or pleather. As a result, motels and resorts just over the Fun County line do a
dynamic one-day business from husbands and boyfriends. (It’s wisest to make
your booking months in advance—ex-husbands and ex-boyfriends get top priority
on reservations.) Local singles bars have long since given up all hope, and simply
shut down ‘til the 21st. The extra business never managed to cover the cost of
damages.
Really, though, it isn’t hard
for a gentleman to get into the spirit of the occasion, if he makes the proper effort.
Like I always say, don’t knock
it ‘til you’ve tried it.
Diana Rigg or no Diana Rigg
(perish the thought!), there hasn’t been a total eclipse of lunar lore in the
vicinity. My own home, The Fortress of Funitude, has a permanent exhibition of
little-known facts about Neil and Buzz’s little jaunt into the near reaches of
outer space. For a very reasonable entrance fee (plus surcharges to defray the
upkeep of the artifacts), you can learn things that NASA still won’t share with
the world at large:
And you thought they just went back
to get more rocks.
Uncle Fun
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