How do ya get ta Carnegie Hall…? Funny ya should ask…

Greetin’s, Internet Folks:

T’day, I’m flyin’ th’ blog solo, thru th’ courtesy of me figgerin’ out how ta jam th’ lock on Mr. Kuzzens’ office door so’s Uncle Fun’ can’t jimmy it so easy.

A lotta my fans is continyully askin’ me, “Sparky, if you hadn’t of become such a world-famously unknown cartoon star, what wouldja’ve rather oughta bin?” It oughta come as no surprise ta those as knows me fer th’ gennelmun a’ refinement an’ culture that I am what that my answer iz that I’d have rather oughta have been a famous musical composur.

Th’ answer ta th’ question “Why?” is simpull. Yer actors an’ so forth may get th’ red-carpet treetmunt, an’ a lotta fancy awards…

…but with yer composurs, it’s babes all th’ way.

B’sides, composurs lead such varied an’ interestin’ lives. Fer exampull, Chicken Khachaturian, whose birthday it wuz on Joon th’ 6th, which is why I thot of writin’ this here postin’, invented not only the Italian food dish that bears his name, but also wrote th’ vict’ry dance fer th’Buffalo Sabres.

It’s almost as good as th’ goal-scorin’ song fer th’ old Hartford Whalers, which I don’t know who wrote it, but you kin listen to it, if yer brave enuf:

Hartford Whalers' fight song

Speakin’a whales, th’ composur’a Th’ Magic Fluke an’ Costly Fan Tootsie wuz known in his wild youth as Bikegang Amadeus Mozart.

You’ve also prolly heard’a th’ Russian pharmacist who wrote Th’ Swancracker an’ Nut Lake. He develupped a old home remuddy made with a blend’a Indiyun spices, which is known by his own name as Chai Cough Syrup.

Another famous composur hadda pet schnauzer what helped him write tone poems like The Girl With The Slacks in Th’ Air an’ Mal de Mer. Becuz’a this, he wuz known as Debussy Dawg.

There’s a lot more where this came frum, but I hear th’ door knob rattlin’, so I guess I’d better go. If ya wanna check out th’ work of a real live composer what writes music an’ stuff, you should maybe look up Alex Eddington, who is a lotta neat things besides just bein’ a composer. He’s even let Mr. Kuzzens do a aminated cartoon version’a one of his vocal compusishuns fer voice an’ voices:

Alex Eddington's "Countdown"

‘Til next time, that’s all fer now,

Sparky