That sound you hear is John Maynard Keynes spinning in his grave…

Greetin’s, fellow finanshul wizurds:

So, I’m guessin’ by th’ time ya reed this, all the hoop-ti-do ‘bout whether the whole United States of America is gonna hafta be put in hock’ll be pretty much over’n done with…fer th’ time bein’, at least.

I’m not sure I get how all this works out, but I’ll explain it anyways. (This puts me no more nor less than on a par with th’ folks on Capitol Hill, frum th’ looks of it, so why shooden I take a stab at ‘er?) So far, I’m pretty sure that th’ U.S. govimunt dett crisis dint mean that th’ whole country wuz gonna be fourclosed on…

“And when I’m done with you, I’m evicting Spain, Italy and Greece.”

…so America duzzent hafta worry ‘bout havin’ ta move in with some other country ‘til they get back on their feet agin.

Beyond that is where th’ pickchur gets a little dim fer me, tho’. I’ll be th’ first one ta admit whut that I don’ know too much about money, but I do know this much frum hangin’ ‘round th’ playground durin’ recess at skule. There, th’ rule is, you kin make someone stop askin’ ya ta pay them back a loan whut they gave ya by sayin’ “you an’ whut army?” Now, as I unnerstand it, a govimunt is one of them things where if you ask ‘em fer yer money back, they kin show ya them an’ their army, plus throw th’ navy an' th’ air force in, just in case ya dint think they wuz seeriyus. On top ‘a that, I think it’s kinda ironcikal that th’ U.S. of America’s all bent up outta shape over payin’ off its detts, ‘cuz it wooden of bin a country in th’ first place if they hadden got a army together ta show some other country “you an’ what army” when that other country asked them could they pay up their back taxes please.  Search me why th’ folks in th’ here-an-now current vershun’a th’ Tea Party is so hot on balanced budjits, since th’ fellas what had th’riginul Tea Party there in Boston did it ‘cuz they wuz a buncha deadbeats.

All of that asides, whut nobuddy ever sez and whut I’d like ta know is who exactly a great big ol’ giyunt govimunt kin owe that much money to…

…other’n th’ obveeyus candidates, natchurly. An’ prolly since he don’t like missin’ out onna fast buck, Unca Scrooge’d just git Gyro Gearloose ta invent some gizmo ta raise th’ dett ceiling, if Richie Rich dint get Perfesser Keenbean ta do it first. Dunno whut th’other guy’d do, other’n mebbe declarin’ th’ whole thing a Bank Error in Yer Favor, er some such.

But as I sed, by now it’s all over but th’ shoutin’, which is like as not ta last farevur, so never mind that. Whut I think they otta give a mind ta doin’ b’fore th’ next time comes when th’ whole U.S. of Owe is fac’d with th’ prospeckt’a all turnin’ inta hoboes an’ ridin’ th’ rails is ta scrape up a li’l ready cash right here an’ now so’s stuff like this don’t bite ‘em all where they puts their wallets agin an’ agin. In my expeeriyunts, th’ best way ta do sumpin’ like this is ta have a yard sale. So, whutcha do, America, is this: get rid’a all yer useless junk that’s still worth a buck er two now but won’t be b’fore long, like th’ space program an’ Katy Perry an’ so forth. If that don’t keep th’ wolf from th’ door, ya may hafta resort ta auckshuning off states. Start with th’ smaller, less importunt ones. Any takers fer Noo Hampshire?

  If alla’ya stateside think that’s a wee mite far-fetched, well...it’s how ya glommed onta a good chunk’a yer country in th’ first place.

Google this if ya don’t b’leeve me.

Sparky

P.S. I find this method ta be way more betterer fer raisin’ money every day of th’ week.