Further proof that our dear friend Mr.
Cousins is slowly but surely losing his grip: in the wee hours of this morning,
during a bout of insomnia brought on (he claims) by the sound of Sparky
jimmying his bathroom window, Cousins told me about another dream he’d had
recently. In the dream, he was a contestant on a game show hosted by Bob
Newhart. So far, so good. Somehow (since the show in question didn’t seem to involve
an actual game of any sort), Contestant Cousins won the grand prize. A wooden
packing crate large enough to contain a small refrigerator was then wheeled out
and opened, revealing the prize to be…Pee Wee Herman. One more thing you should
know: Pee Wee Herman’s face was covered in a thick coat of pancake makeup
roughly the shade of mint-flavoured toothpaste.
This is the sort of thing that could earn
any psychoanalyst brave enough to take the case the naming rights to whatever
Mr. Cousins is suffering from. As his lifelong friend, I do feel obligated to
present some sort of defense against the charge that Cousins is turning into a
hard-core nutcase. The sound file at this link establishes beyond all shadow of
a doubt that he became a nutcase years ago.
Uncle
Fun
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