Happy C’lumbus Day weekend
and/or Canadian Thanksgiving and/or whatever th’ heck it is they sellabrate
wherever th’ heck it is they sellabrate it:
Well, things has
started ta heat up in th’ Americkun prezidentshul race, er at least not cool
down as fast as it look’t as if they wuz gonna recently. One thing th’
punditzes an’ p’ltickull pollsters an’ other assorted whatchamacallits has bin
talkin’ ‘bout, tho’, is how, with ruffly a month ta go b’fore th’ all ballots
gits offishully spoilt, a lotta people has already made their minds up, with no
backsies. Now, I’m not always among th’ 73% who find joornullists average er worse in terms’a trustworthiness, but I can’t help but think that this mind-makin’-uppedness
gits a bit of a nudge frum th’ meediya sometimes:
You’ll notice I’ve
left th’ names out so those’a you who havvunt made yer minds up kin start with
a fresh slate. Here’s another one fer ya ta chew on:
Ya see, whut
someone sez otta be at least as important as who sez it. (Th’ one
exsepshun I’ll make to it is that when a cop sez “come here”, I take that as my
cue ta run.) Both’a these gomers iz chronick sufferers frum foot-in-mouth
dizeez, but only one’a them’s gettin' diagnosed as such by Dr. Genurall
Publick. An’, speekin’ a doobeeyus utterunces, th’ Prezdunt himself is on
reckord as sayin’ that this eleckshun is th’ clearest choice in hist’ry, so
let’s examine that one, too. Takin' away names, faces, an' other sooperfishyallatees, here’s th’ choices that're acktuwally availabull ta th’ voter:
Yeah, that’s sure a
choice-an’-a-half alright. Sints there ain’t no tellin’ th’ players without a
scorecard nohow, th’ best thing’d be ta reshuffle th’ deck, an’ create two new
tickets:
Now THAT’S a clear
choice. Fer those of ya who don’t wanna think about politicks no longer, ya kin
click here an’ lissen ta sumpin’ that wuzzent meant ta make any sense, but
makes at least half as much as any’a these guys.
Th’ rest’a you
massakists out there kin start thinkin’ up write-in candidates. I’ll start ya
off with a good one whose name got menshuned in Wens’dy’s d’bate. If runnin' fer prezdunt don't come down ta anythin' other'n how likable ya are, this guy's a shoo-in:
As fer me, I’m votin’
th’ straight Ernie & Bert ticket.
Sparky
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