The revolution will not be televised...but everything else these days is on the air.

 

     Happy Fourth of July to all our American friends—especially the ones we don’t even know we’ve made yet.

     “Now, what’s the reason for that cryptic remark?” you may well be wondering to yourselves. Well, wonder no longer—here’s the explanation. Despite its status as a near-mythical haven from the dictates of conventional reality, even Funsville has been drafted into the game of “Who Can You Trust?”  otherwise known as the world political scene today. We here had always assumed ourselves, like Never-Never Land, Narnia, and Brigadoon, to be sitting somewhat upstream from the flow of current events.  Nonetheless, it seems that, through some error of geographical, geopolitical, or other generally good judgement, Funsville has wound up on the U.S. State Department’s list of hostile foreign powers. Or trusted allies…it’s all the same these days, really. They listen in on everyone, just to be on the safe side. Countries and alliances that don’t even exist anymore, like the Ottoman Empire and the Hanseatic League, probably receive their own special teams of surveillance experts.

     None of this particularly bothers any of us here. The wiretaps have generated considerable mirth among the townspeople—almost from the instant the tapping was discovered, all phone conversations have been conducted in everyone’s best Boris and Natasha accents from Rocky and Bullwinkle, complete with references to “Fearless Leader” and “The Master Plan”.

     As for us at the Fortress of Funitude, we found the bugs they planted within a matter of moments—in fact, Sparky helped show the “men from the gas company” who came to “check our system for leaks” the most acoustically-advantageous locations to install their equipment. This has given us two fresh sources of amusement. When we’re not using various household appliances to create ear-splitting interference, we re-enact old episodes of Fibber McGee and Molly. It’s only a matter of time before Special Ops and Navy SEALs swoop in on Wistful Vista to round up The Great Gildersleeve before he can launch his next counterstrike against the forces of freedom and democracy.

     I’ll tell you one thing, though: this is one locale where regime change won’t come easy. When they search Fibber’s closet for weapons of mass destruction, they’d better stand well clear, or they may never be heard from again once the cascade of debris has settled.

Uncle Fun