Never mind what this guy says—should the delivery of eggs be entrusted to a mammal in the first place?

Der Happy Easter to all of you from all of us in der Onkel Fun und Schparky Land,

   This year perhaps it is just der ‘Onkel Fun Land’, because no Schparky is there here.  For this I am glad, and I am not caring who ist not glad, because of what is happening every year when Schparky ist trying to do what he ist calling der ‘helping’ mit der preparation of der Easter eggs.

   This sort of thing ist ein typical egg-sample (das ist eine kleine play on der words there) of Schparky’s handiwork. Dieses kind of helps I am not needing, danke schön. So, Schparky, he can come back now that I am done mit der doing of my job for this year, and messing up he can be to some other holidays or observances, like maybe Arbor Day or something like that, whenever that is.

   So wishing it is I am to you der Happy Easter, and hopping (also another play on der words mit der bunny-hop, ja?) I am that you are enjoying your day as much as I haff been enjoying mine without Schparky.

Georg Friederich Wilhelm von Osterhasen

(known to you in Englisch as der Easter Bunny)